Gnats To You!

This morning I woke to what I would call a “normal” morning. My son called to me and woke me from my deep and blissful slumber. Still in my stupor I stumbled to the door of his room to greet him (the door knob is too high for him to open himself) and we played on his bed for a short while.

After breakfast my son (Mr D) says “Mama, ants on the rocks! Ants on the rocks!” What the… Surely He’s not inventing new cocktails yet?

I have a large Yucca plant in a big pot next to the lounge with white rocks on top as mulch and on closer inspection, it looks as though he’s right! Ants – and thousands of them! My mind reeling with ideas of how they may have been attracted to this particular plant, I notice a sweet smell and automatically decide that Mr D has spilled something sweet on the plant and the ants have come to feast.

But they’re not really moving like ants and…wait a minute – they’ve got wings and they’re milling about on the wall and the curtain… What the hell are these little fkkrs?

I bloody love the internet. I Googled it. Turns out they’re fungus gnats!!! Bugger! Apparently they live in the potting mix and if it gets waterlogged and fungus begins to grow, then the fungus gnats say “Yeehah Grandma” and begin to multiply like the insect equivalent of rabbits. I kind of liked the self-watering pot up until today…

These Bugs Look Good Enough To Eat! (image by John Dilot)

I removed all of the white stones with the gnats attached, put them in a bucket and poured boiling water onto them. That swiftly ended the baby boomers party! I’ve wiped the trunk of the yucca and sprayed the top of the soil and the trunk with an insecticidal soap spray. According to a couple of gardening information sites it’s not the right stuff for the job but it’s all I’ve got for the moment. At the last inspection there were no new bugs. I await with anticipation…

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