I haven’t shared much personal stuff yet. So I’ll share a short run down of where I’m at with my son’s father. We split up just over 2 years ago now. My son was 5 1/2 months old at the time. We eventually moved out and into a rental property where my son and I have been ever since.
When I moved in with my son’s father, I had sold my half of the house that I owned with a friend, and took with me the small amount of money that I made from the sale. I was already 3 1/2 months pregnant. I bought some permanent things for my ex’s house to make it more comfortable for our family after the baby arrived and also facilitated some painting etc. We went halves in a bigger car and I did most of home making.
When we broke up I had just enough money left to secure bond on the rental property we live in now, I owned a few sticks of furniture that I had collected over my years and a baby in my arms that needed my attention 24-7. I had to apply for single parents support from the government as I have a strong belief that I should parent my own child and not give him to someone else to parent (at least at such a young age) while I go to work.
Applying for government benefits was probably the hardest part of the whole situation. I had been a self-sufficient independent woman for more than 20 years – it was such a blow to my sense of integrity not to mention my pride.
My ex gave me use of the car and nothing else. He is a professional and employed in a position of responsibility at a significant firm. He pays Child Support as he is required to by law in my country. Other than this, he has offered me nothing. I feel I deserve some of the money back that I invested in his house. I worked hard for the money I spent on his home and would like to one day be able to have a house of my own again. I have tried for 2 years to work out some kind of agreement and have requested financial documents to try and work out a fair deal. He has not supplied them. It’s for this reason I am going to court on Tuesday.
At times I wonder if I’m doing the right thing – it’s damaging my relationship with his parents – and they have been nothing but good to me. Then I think about how he’s treated me, his arrogance and his disrespect and his lack of understanding. I’m a determined person and I intend to stand up for what I believe is right. I may not be popular with some people as a result but at least I will have fought for what I believe in.
I’ve always wanted to be able to say to people “My Ex has been very fair and supportive” but I’m afraid I can’t. It hurts me deeply to have to pursue this but I know that if I don’t I will never forgive myself for not standing up for myself. I only want peace, harmony, integrity and fairness in my relationships with everyone. I hope someday I will have this with my Ex and his family.